No-one puts baby in the corner

I mentioned in a recent post that Tiggy and Sophie are returned; back from the cattery after the completion of the building work. It is great to have them back home – they are so entertaining and adorable. Nothing beats the sound of a happy purring cat to lift my spirits and make me feel content about life.

What is so lovely about them is their predictability, interspersed with acts of randomness, that really delights. Following the predictability path Sophie and Tiggy reacted to coming back home in exactly the same way that they have done previously following their mini breaks at the full board luxury lodgings provided care of the Animal Medical Centre of Cricklewood.

Tiggy, aka Fat Mama, falls straight back into family life – trying to hunt out the junk food she loves and chilling on the sofa. Sophie, aka Pensive Daughter, was, well her usual pensive self. She has been hiding a lot under the bed or behind the sofa and then dashes out for attention and then runs off again. She also barely ate a thing for two days – just to make us worry and get some pay back for sending her away for nearly three weeks. She is such a funny thing – she loves attention, especially diving in and shoving Tigs out of the way (which often results in Sophie getting a whack on the head from her mother).

Despite being so bold Sophie will sometime have a freak out and end up deciding that she needs to hide again. No-one puts baby in the corner – she puts herself there.

Moral panic on plastic

Just had my internal eco-warrier 'tut tutting' about the fact that my 'tortoise that cared too much' post mentioned that I brought my shopping home in plastic bags.

Now first of all I did use the evil plastic bag because I ended up buying more than I expected - five rolls of kitchen roll (recycled!) takes up lots of space (and I walked so I couldn't just chuck it in the boot of the car!). I did also use my Envirosax bag - which I love - but I only have one and normally this meets my plastic bag replacement needs (Chad does the main food shop and he ALWAYS uses his bags for life).

I actually bought Chad an Envirosax bag for Valentine's Day from a cool gift shop in Crouch End - so we actually have matching bags!!! I know passion is alive and well in my relationship.

Anyway I did use the bad plastic ones that live forever and strangle the tortoise's aquatic cousins, turtles, in the Pacific Ocean, and there will probably be a time when I will use the naughty plastic bags again. Anyway, I am sure that Envirosax will save the day and pacify my inner-ecowarrier as I use it more and more.

The tortoise that cared too much

Now the building work is almost complete (just one more day to go) we brought Tiggy and Sophie, our beloved moggies, home from the cattery on Saturday. We had to do a monster clean to get rid of all the post-building work grime (so that the babies didn’t end up coated in dust). So on Friday night after work the marigolds went on and we cleaned for six solid hours. We had to clean EVERYTHING that we own. It was hideous.

Prior to the cleaning commencing I had to nip to Somerfield (the not so super, supermarket that is walking distance from the house) to buy said marigolds, kitchen roll and other cleaning necessities. It was a real toss-up between going to the ‘Field’ or jumping in the car and going to Sainsburys. The reason for the conundrum being that I absolutely loath the Somerfield experience. In theory it shouldn’t be that bad – it has a good selection of stock (they even have Yarden’s humus which is my number one favourite snack item), it’s quite spacious, it’s clean but there is just something so depressing about it. Friday’s experience just reaffirmed why I should have jumped in the car.

I walk to Somerfield, pick up a basket and start gathering up my supplies. I then proceed to the check-out which they need to rename ‘get frustrated on your way out’. I was in a queue of about 15 people, shuffling at snail speed through the sweet-racked maze created to control us. There were two people on the tills and I notice for every one person that this chap served, the women on the till next door managed to serve at least two and a half people. Now having worked on a till in M&S in my youth, I can be a bit uptight in the till queuing scenario (I was a speed demon on the till). So I start obsessing about why the differential in speed between the two cashiers – I had plenty of time to do this as it took me 20 minutes to get to the starting line. I couldn’t work out what was going on but found out as I approached the tortoise (not the hare) with morbid trepidation.

Now I know that I like good customer service but Mr Tortoise took this to a whole new level...

He picked the first item out of my basket, looked at it for about two seconds, then looked me in the eye, smiled then said ‘do you want this?’, I said ‘yes please’, he then turned the item around to find the barcode, looked at me, smiled, scanned the code, then placed the item in the bag. This happened for EVERY single item in my basket. It was unbelievable. I managed to stay cool, although my response to the question ‘do you want this?’ declined from the aforementioned ‘yes please’, to ‘yes’ to ‘a nod’ deteriorating to me just grimacing at him.

I nearly ran out of the building with my shopping yelling ‘free, free at last, thank god I’m free’, although in reality I walked home with plastic bags digging into my hands and grumbled away to myself. Bless the tortoise – he cared a lot, just too blinkin’ much.

New toilet heaven, B&Q hell

Pleased to report that Chad and I (plus Dave and Des the builders) managed to find a new loo that will fit - phew.

It did require us to go to B&Q as it opened at 8am, never a good place to be before you have had a cuppa. Team B&Q were their normal helpful selves! Classic this morning went like this...

Crump: 'Good morning, I wonder if you can help me'

B&Q staff member: 'Ugh' - not sure how to write the sound that a cave woman makes in the movies as she gesticulates at the fire and the lump of diplodocus flesh sizzling on it.

Crump: ‘Is the white glaze on the 'Madrid' toilet which is displayed downstairs going to match the glaze on this sink (pointing to the 'Valencia') which we already have?’

B&Q staff member who turns out to be the bathroom ‘expert’: ‘They are both white, so yes’

Crump: ‘Yes I can see that, but whites can be different. So are they going to be the same, or might there be a chance that they are different?’

B&Q: ‘They are white so they are the same’

Crump: ‘ Sorry, I don’t think I am explaining this properly. I can see that they are white, but whites can be different, they could come from a different manufacturer for example. So is there a chance that they could be different and that you would recommend me not to mix and match?’

B&Q: ‘They are white, so they are the same’

Crump: ‘Thanks for your insights’

B&Q: ‘No problem, you can do it if you B&Q it!’

OK she didn’t say the B&Q doing it bit but she may as well have done. This is why Homebase exists - to fill the oh so important void that is customer service and product knowledge in the world of DIY. Homebase might not have as much stock and different options - but the stores are clean, the stock is tidy and when you ask them a question they don't just shrug their shoulders or say 'I don't know' and walk away from you unlike their orange uniformed counterparts.

What I think is funny is that the 'You can do it of you B&Q it' TV adverts feature staff who act like they work in Homebase. I suppose it is good for a company like B&Q to be aspirational though;+)

Anyway, because of the whole white issue we bought a new 'Madrid' loo AND sink and we have to take the now redundant 'Valencia' items (which are currently residing in the lounge) back – wish us luck...

PS. I wonder what other city or region of the world will have the honour of sharing its name with a toilet suite range? B&Q already have the Toronto and the Glouchester. Having been to Valencia, Madrid, Toronto and Glouchester I cannot see the link.

PPS. Any suggestions for city / WC twinning?

Oh crap

We are ‘doing’ the bathroom at the moment. We are a few days in and when I got home from work last night all the HORRIBLE old suite was all gone. 'Hurrah' I thought, no more shell scallop-edged sink and loo and we promptly went around to stay at Nadia and Gareth’s home to stay the night (as there was no loo etc. at Chateau Cricklewood).

Dave the builder (good chap and really pleased to recommend him if you need a builder) called this morning to say that the new throne that we have purchased and due for installation today won’t fit. Aaaagggghhh!!!

So I come home from work and there it is: the annoying ugly toilet is back in position - gutted. We are meeting up with Dave first thing tomorrow morning to work out a plan of action. I know that I have lived with the shell monstrosity for 18 months but it was gone yesterday and like a bad smell it has returned.

Don't panic - I am sure this dire situation can be resolved.