Forget Pablo, may I introduce Neil Picasso...

I was hopeless at drawing at school. Have a go at doing your own at Mr Picasso Head.

Modern living: Brandtastic and when they aren’t

A friend of mine, who also works in PR, showed my blog to her (lovely and very smart) boyfriend and he came across my post about my now dusty Cartier watch. He made a comment along the lines of “I like the way Neil writes, but he works in PR, doesn’t that mean that he should be all about the brand? I mean isn’t building brands what you guys do for a living?”

When I was told this I immediately got defensive (not too dramatically mind) and explained that my problem is not with brands themselves but rather when a brand lets you down, as Cartier did to me.

I have reread the Cartier watch post and can see that I might need to clarify my position a little. So thank you friend’s boyfriend for your insight. So here I go...

I do believe in the value of brands and yes part of what I do for a living is to build belief in them. I think that brands are powerful and by their very nature build loyalty – strong invisible ties that keep you coming back for more. They inspire us and give us a warm fuzzy glow when we interact with them.

Some of my favourites are:

• Clothes: Paul Smith, Nicole Farhi and Hugo Boss
• Electrical stuff: Sony , Toshiba and Miele
• Food: Sainsbury and Prêt-a-Manger
• Department stores: John Lewis
• Skin care: Clarins
• Cars: Mercedes Benz
• Sports clothing: Nike

This then extends into countries (Italy, Spain, Thailand and India), artists (Chris Bush), where I like to go and see films (Vue), the ice cream I love (Haagen Dazs) and even bins (Brabantia) I buy for my home (I’ve got three of them).

So I am an official brand lover and from my list of brands above you will have already got a feel for me as a person – drawing from your experience (whether as a fellow brand devotee or just having seen marketing relating to that brand such as an advert or maybe even an engaging viral). This short list of brands blends into a profile of me. Not all of me, not a definitive "yep I got this chap sussed" but more of a flavour.

Brands are about human interaction, they are built by organisations which are run by people and the consumer of that brand, who again are people, derive enjoyment from buying, visiting, using, etc, etc, etc, that brand.

As part of the brand experience there are always going to be times when a product lets you down – it’s normal, things break, they are after all just stuff, and stuff is fallible. I can cope when something screws up. What I hate is when something does go wrong and you give the brand an opportunity to correct it, and following this plea the response is "bugger off". They don’t try and keep you, they just spit you out. This is the problem with brands that don’t live up to the proposition, as Cartier did in my experience, where a ‘lifetime guarantee’ guaranteed absolutely nothing. We want brands (with all our heart) to deliver on the promise.

As the saying goes ‘To err is human’, and when we make an error we should apologies where necessary and strive to get it right. This is what great brands do (I will maybe post some more on great brand experiences in the future). The very process of correcting a problem reinforces our belief that our decision to engage with the brand was a good one in the first place, building more trust, more loyalty.

Phew, that was a long post, I hope that I have explained myself a little better. Anyway I’m off for a Diet Coke now ;+))

Loved stuff: Bad yet thrilling memories

Just watched a Michael Jackson tribute programme where they played his best videos – boy they were great tunes and the video spectacles that that he created were amazing.

To be honest I haven’t been a huge fan over the last decade and some of the ‘reported’ elements of his life were frankly a bit worrying - reported being the operative word. I have been the first person to be fascinated by his changing appearance and making quite frankly disparaging comments.

It is so terribly sad that he has died, especially as he was about to do the mega London concerts and was going to get the satisfaction of being back on top – where he clearly enjoyed being and with his talent for singing and performance he did deserve.

I am feeling a bit queasy about the whole thing: how the media is suddenly being so positive about the man – having torn him down so hard for such a long period. I am sure that more money will be made as a result of his death by the vultures who were doing very nicely on the money front on the drag down.

However as I said I took part in being fascinated by the man and fuelling the tear down. Yep, feeling a bit rubbish about it.

You just think that if he could have heard all this positive stuff being said now that it might have given him a boost that, let’s face it, all of us need from time to time.

All very sad – but listening and watching the videos on the box has brought back two childhood memories that I had totally forgotten and which have made me smile...

NUMBER ONE: I had the Thriller album on cassette tape – I was eight years old and I absolutely LOVED it. I played it so much that I stretched the tape. So now when I hear any of the songs from the album I actually think that they are being played a tiny bit too fast. I had a Thriller poster on my bedroom wall and Elaine (my little sister) and I used to act out the Thriller video morning after morning for months.

NUMBER TWO: I was 14 and the day that Bad came out my dad took me to town in the car and I stood in the queue before the record shop opened to be one of the first to get it. I had never done that before (or since). It was a big moment and I remember rushing home and playing that LP over and over again – it was the coolest thing ever.

All the ‘RIP MJ’ on Twitter seems on the surface a bit too much: overly media generated and desperate, but do you know what, he does deserve to rest in peace and he did inspire millions of people.

Word from nowhere: Cognizant

Yes my friends, with hindsight, the the word 'aware' is definitely more than sufficient.

I used this interesting word in the pub earlier this evening. Ouch - contact the Plain English Campaign.

Loved stuff: Dance goes viral...

I love this video, MaestroJ cited it as an illustration of how something on the web goes viral through word of mouth.

Enjoy...

Crumptales: Hammer Cottage of Horror

The weekend in Shropshire was a source of inspiration for the old blog. Here is the third and final installment...

We stayed in a quaint little cottage which was on the Walcot Hall estate. It is called the Dipping Shed on account of the fact that they once dunked woolly beings in chemicals to keep them tick and flea free. It is suitably cottage like - just want us Londoners need from our weekends away.

However there was something very strange about this place...

Here is the cottage...
Here is the lovely view...
However, the interior was like the set of a b-movie horror film...

Then it got a whole lot worse...

Modern living: Stress gets everywhere

If you are a townie like me and think that our modern urban lives are stressful, then please spare a though to our countryside dwelling friends...

I spotted this on the notice board in the the foyer of the Shropshire church where Ali and Emily were hitched.

Loved stuff: Weddings of people in love

Just back from a lovely weekend in Shropshire (which is on the English-Welsh borders – embarrassingly I thought that the county was north of London – dahh). Anyhow, I now know where Shropshire is located and can confirm that is a charming county and well worth a visit.

We were at the wedding of our friends Ali and Emily. I really do love a wedding – I am after all a hopeless romantic and thrive on being surrounded by positive emotion. I delight in hearing people say heartfelt things about each other.

They are a gorgeous couple, deliriously happy and properly in love with each other. I did have a minor inner panic when Emily was more than half an hour late for the church service, and at one point Ali walked outside. Basically no drama on this front at all: Ali just needed the loo and Emily was making sure she looked gorgeous. She didn’t disappoint. She is a very beautiful and talented young lady and she actually made her own dress which was amazing.

Emily and Ali are actors / work in the world of theatre, so as a result they have a very flamboyant group of friends from the creative arts. The speeches were absolutely ace (particularly Ali’s friends who were toastmaster and best man) – very entertaining and definitely the best I have ever heard at a wedding.

Ali’s speech was lovely – his emotions broke at the end of his speech as he told us how lucky he was that Emily was his wife. My adrenal gland gave me a little spurt of adrenaline and he had a wee moment of controlled tears welling in my eyes – fabulous!

They worked so hard to make the day perfect: and it absolutely was...

Loved stuff: hats (part two)

'Fabulous' Blogger insert picture functionality is driving me totally mad - so have had to revert to a part two (to stop all the pictures jumping around so much)...


Halloween boat part - Mummy mask as hat - Vix embraced and Millennium Dome (know the O2 ) in the background:

At Nadia and Gareth's 'Big Jewish Wedding' - loved my suede purple kippah:

My thirtieth birthday party fancy dress (goodies and baddies themed) - I was Genghis Khan:

Loved stuff: hats (part one)

I don't wear hats that often - but I was looking through tagged Facebook pics of me and there are a variety of hats on show (also demonstrates my love of the fancy dress party)...

Charlotte's hen do:

Hat from Prague worn in the cold of Lapland:

I loved this hat - my favourite festival hat for three years in a row:

'Chav' party - loving the Burberry - Hena's very shiny tights and grumpy Chav Vix in the background:

Word from nowhere: Dopey inter-relationship phrases

This doesn't strictly fit into my 'Word from nowhere' category. In fact it could be in a new category called 'Words from a known source that you say all the time with your partner and make you laugh'. But hey let's go crazy and keep it in the former category ...

Chad and I have a number of daft phrases which we have accumulated over the last six years (it was our anniversary yesterday) and use all the time. Here are a few...

• “It’s like Beirut in here!”: when a place we are in is really noisy or really quiet (this comes from a Catherine Tate character)
• "I knew before": this is in a French and Saunders sketch. You have to say this really loud and the 'before' needs to last about five seconds. This is definitely one for when we are indoors at home!
• "I can do that!": another Catherine Tate special - a very liberating catchphrase as it encourages you to do anything
• "Have you ever heard of a thing called Butter? Gold in colour and slippery to the touch": If I say the word 'butter', as in "Could you pass me the butter please?", then Chad out of reflex says this (it's a scene from Little Britain)
• "Oh bless": we say this one in a sickly sweet way, mimicking this comedy airhostess that served us on a plane who said it ALL the time i.e. "Hi there, oh bless, would you like some tea? Oh bless you, here is your tea of bless, thanks, bless" -no kidding it was brilliant
• "That madam is a one cent coin": This has to be said in a dramatic, breathy and condescending way. We say this if someone does something unintentionally annoying. This one is from the funniest shop worker in the history of people that have worked in a shop. A Little Britain character in her own right who works on a cross Channel ferry

So share with me some of your dopey catchphrases please..

Sensible(ish) post: High definition blogging!

Here is a post from today on my work blog called 'High definition blogging!'. I cannot take credit for the post title (which is inspired if you read the post). My business partner came up with it. She is on fire today and came up with a great creative theme for a pitch that we are preparing for next week.

Anyhow, the summary of the post is:

• Pollster surveyed British GPs and patients on their use of the web
• Wrote in a magazine article that one in four patients were blogging
• I called the pollster author to check up on this crazy stat - turns out by 'blogging' they meant 'reads' nor 'writes' a blog (odd definition)
• Minor concern that this figure is now going to get touted around the UK pharmaceutical industry as gospel
• Great research though and the market research agency have what looks like an amazing data set that I would love to investigate

Grumped: BA turning into Ryanair

In a massive traffic jam on the M25 having been picked up from T5 by a taxi driver. So a Grumped moment is at my finger tips...

Milan trip was good. I even managed to catch a bit of the old part of the city with a late night walk followed by an alfresco beer with Chair and our my lovely client. All very pleasant although it was pointed out that my eyes were blood shot and I looked like hell (the daily disposable contact lenses are very unforgiving after 18 hours of wear).

My Grumped moment relates to my flight out to Milan on Saturday.

I stupidly attempted to check in two bags. My micro suitcase and a laptop bag (doubling up as an 'on-site event bag'). The latter contained scissors and all manner of other sharp pointy things that you cannot take through Security - and hence why I wanted to check it in.

Anyway I wasn't allowed to without paying £35 pounds as my ticket only allowed one bag to be checked in. This was despite the fact that both bags together weighted less than my allowance.
Most annoying and out from my mouth popped the title of this post. This was met by a harsh look - batted back with my most smiley of smiles. 'Frosty' then couldn't - I guessed faked - not being able to print me a receipt and inconvenienced me further with a trip to the baggage desk where 'Incompetent' was unable after 10 minutes to print me a receipt.

Learnings from experience:

• Don't fly British Airways - I know they are our national carrier but they are expensive and don't give you a better experience
• Remember to get your jumbo suitcase from storage before you fly
• Pay a few pounds to have your small case cocooned in 200 metres of security plastic wrapping. As the Spice Girls said "two becomes one" and you don't pay the extra (as I did on my return journey)

So ziga zig argh BA. I hope the £35 compensates for my new BA avoidance strategy.

Word from nowhere: Vomitus

I have worked in healthcare communications for a long time now but yesterday was the first time I have had to use the correct medical term for chundering (delightful).

Another favourite medical term of the same genre is 'Flatus'. Don't know what this is? If you had flatulance you would be passing a number of them!

Whoever said PR was glamourous didn't work in healthcare
PR ;+)

Leaning Tower of Pizza (boxes)

In Milan working this weekend. Remember the TV show 'Catchphrase' with Roy Walker? His catch phrase was say what you see..

Loved stuff: My two favourite YouTube Classics

Ninja cat - so funny...



Brilliant elephant...

Green, maroon and moronic

We have European Parliamentary elections tomorrow (not local ones where I live). I’ve already cast my vote via the post – I’ve missed out voting in the past because of ending up not being able to get to a polling station in time (normally because of work) so I have been a firm believer in the security of a postal vote for the past 10 years.

So I’ve already marked the ‘X’ on my ballot paper to be counted. I’ve voted for the party that run my Borough, who are also the party of my MP (I live in Brent and so feel free to do your own homework). I can tell you that I didn’t vote for the Green Party – and today just reinforced why...

We got back to Camden from a prospective client meeting at lunchtime. So a colleague and I jumped out of the cab and dashed to a favourite sandwich eatery to get, surprise, surprise, a sandwich. As we started walking down Camden High Street we could hear someone ranting on a megaphone in the distance.

We turned round a few times and as the traffic started up from the traffic lights the words ‘Vote Green tomorrow’ came into ear shot. Then the orator came into view. A lady passenger of a maroon Toyota Prius was heading toward us down the road, window down, megaphone hanging out of the car with luminous green ‘Vote Green’ posters sellotaped to the rear windows. Again she cried ‘Vote Green Tomorrow’.

Now my colleague and I looked at each other and as I though it, my colleague yelled out “Get on your bike and stop driving around in a car”. Green lady yells back “It’s an electric car – vote Green tomorrow”, as they sped off into the distance.

Man oh man – so many things funny yet fundamentally wrong about the whole thing:

1. Where does Green lady think that electricity comes from? Let me tell you: the burning of fossil fuels or nuclear power
2. A Prius does use a bit of electricity but we do have to remember that they actually use more petrol to get themselves around
3. Aural spamming is not a good way of persuading people to do anything you want them to do
4. The car was maroon, yes I know, maroon – can a car possibly be sprayed a worse colour? Who buys a maroon car?

This is the problem with single issue organisations – if you are single issue you lose all credibility the second you don’t totally act in line with that single issue.

I think that the environment is hugely important and a difficult thing to balance with our modern lives of, to name just a few things, cars, planes and doing our shopping online (where our little one-off purchases get whizzed from across the globe). It’s a huge quandary.

I don’t want be too disparaging of the Greens. Single issue political parties are important. They keep us on our toes, we need people with extreme issues (as long as they don’t cause genuine harm) – it’s just that shrieking from an ugly coloured, pseudo-environmental credentialed car expecting the recipients to be mobilised into action is, well, just plain moronic.

Loved stuff: BBC Radio 4 - Today

I love the Today programme on Radio 4. I drive to work most mornings (I HATE the evil Tube) and I secretly like it if the worst stretch on my journey (the Finchley Road) is rammed full of traffic and I end up in a mini jam. It means I get an extra 10 minutes added to my journey and I get to hear more of my favourite radio show.

I love talk radio and the gang on Today are always brilliant - shaping the media agenda but striking the right balance with the random and quirky stories. I love all the presenters but am really loving Evan Davis (also presents Dragon's Den - TV gold) who is my favourite at the moment. He was a bit shaky when he started on the show a while back but is totally ace now. He did a great interview with Mr Brown this morning.

Mr Davis might be becoming a a new 'weird crush' for me - OK he's just not Rodrigo Santoro - but (along with the rest of the Today crew) he is both funny and professional and above all really smart. I also have a weird crush on Andrew Marr - it's the intensely smart / witty thing going on again (!!!). Anyway I digress...

As a PR person I have pitched the Today programme a few times - I haven't managed to get anything proactively on it yet (even huge stories that have gone across all news channel wide including the BBC). Ho hum. Anyway, despite the fact that they have never succumbed to a Crump pitch, I still love them.